Is coaching better than therapy?

When is coaching better than therapy?

It is not uncommon for me to be asked, “When is coaching better than therapy?" or "What you do feels like therapy. "

I find these questions interesting because many psychologists and therapists now offer both therapy and coaching, blurring the line between the two. The better question is, “What is better for you in your situation: coaching or therapy?”

First, let's address the elephant in the room. Everyone can be a coach. If you want to call yourself a coach tomorrow and start charging money, you can. To practice therapy, you need formal, accredited training. Does that mean coaches don't need training to be coaches? Technically, that is correct. But the reality is different.

The education of a coach

Many coaches identify a gap in their lives or careers and develop an interest in it. They then choose to learn the skills to fill that gap. They feel rewarded and decide to become a coach. Others have worked in a specific industry and decide they can start supporting others to achieve better results.

Before starting as coaches, many complete training and attend workshops. Even after starting to work as a coach, many continue to learn to better help their clients. There are numerous courses and programmes that coaches can take to become effective coaches. Some programmes teach a coaching framework; others teach specific tools, such as DISC, Myers-Briggs, or communication and development tools like Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP). In other words, a coach's education is often experience-enhanced by training programmes.

If coaching isn't regulated, is it full of cowboys?

Coaching isn't regulated by law, but there are organisations that support coaches, helping them grow and providing some best practices. But a coach doesn't have to be associated with them. Either way, registered or unregistered, it doesn't mean that the coach is suitable for you.

The difference between coaching and therapy

But here is a big difference with therapy. There are many approaches to coaching. I call my coaching approach Neuro Pathway Mapping™. It is my name and my approach based on various methods and practices. I have created my own proprietary tools based on experience, observations, and the people I work with. Other coaches subscribe to one philosophy; they might buy a tool to use, or they learn coaching using a strict structure and approach. Is one approach better than the other? No. But it highlights the difference between coaching and therapy. When you go to a therapist, you know what you can expect. They ask you questions to help you deal with the problem and move forward. With a coach, you need to do some research on what coach and approach works best for you.

Here is where the difference lies. As a coach, you are very much about supporting people on a journey. In my work, it is often about career progress, relationship dynamics, or the impact of identity and belonging because, as part of my coaching practice, I coach gay men and the LGBTQI+ community. People choose a coach because they have something specific they want to achieve. Career progress, better relationships. People see a therapist because they are looking to overcome trauma and grief.

Let's look at the statement “I am stuck”. A person who is stuck in their career or struggles in their relationship is most likely going to look for a coach. A person who is stuck because they have suffered trauma is most likely going to look for a therapist. You both work towards a goal; it is just that your starting point is different.

The stigma of therapy

Traditionally, there is also some stigma around therapy. You are labelled as a patient, even though therapists these days also use the term “client”. A patient is someone who has struggles and trauma and needs to overcome them. Of course, the term “patient” is often associated with being sick. This is more traditional because therapy and psychotherapy originate from the medical field. Coaching has a different vibe to it: it is framed as more empowering. You are more proactive, and you are a client of the coach. As in sports, a coach is someone who helps you hone and amplify your skills. In other words, you are motivated by a skill or goal you have, and you want to strengthen your ability to succeed.

The blurred lines between coaching and therapy

I had a client come to me because he was moving into a project manager role. First, we did some process design and identified bottlenecks. But then we ran into a stumbling block. He had to present this new process to the company owner and the team, and he lacked confidence. Working through this, we touched on his relationships with his parents and deep-rooted challenges with values and beliefs. What started as coaching became therapeutic.

Another client came to me because she was struggling in her relationship. She was madly in love but often snapped and argued with her partner. As a coach, I focused on teaching her better communication skills. However, a session addressing the root cause surfaced issues stemming from growing up in a household where she lost everything she treasured twice as a child: Once due to flooding, once due to her father’s business going bankrupt. This changed everything. Her relationship with her partner, and even with her parents, improved. Moreover, with her newfound insights, she found a job that perfectly aligned with her values.

Is coaching better than therapy?

The answer is yes, and no. What matters more is working out which is right for you, in your situation. Here's how to do that.

What do you need to decide if coaching is better than therapy?

Be honest with yourself about it. There is a difference between wanting to move forward (a career step, a relationship pattern, a confidence block) and dealing with something clinical. If you are carrying trauma like abuse or assault, or a diagnosed condition like depression, PTSD or psychosis, you need somebody trained to handle that. With waiting lists for psychologists that can run into months, it is important for you to be clear about your objectives. A good coach will tell you if they believe you require clinical care. That is actually one of the signs of a good coach: they know where coaching stops.

But the line isn't always clean. As my two clients' examples showed, old wounds and beliefs often surface in coaching, and working through them is part of the journey. The question isn't whether coaching ever touches the past. It is whether what you are dealing with needs a trained, clinical approach.

How to find the right coach or therapist?

1. Step 1: Do your research.

2. Step 2: Use the introductory session

3. Step 3: Determine how important credentials are

4. Step 4: Decide if you click and if you like the approach of your coach/ therapist

Step 1: Do your research

With the web at hand, find out if the coach or therapist lists their methods and approach, and whether that works for you.

Step 2: Use the introductory session.

Most coaches and therapists will have one or are willing to have a conversation with you. Use it. You will learn more in fifteen minutes of talking to someone than in an hour on their website.

Step 3: Credentials

Decide on the importance of credentials to you. With therapy, accreditation is a given. With coaching, credentials can be reassuring, but they are not a guarantee that a coach is the right person for you. And their absence doesn't make someone a cowboy. You are looking for the right person with the right approach to achieve what you want.

Step 4: Choosing the coach or therapist who is right for you

Having done your research and met one or a few coaches and therapists, decide who is right for you. Whether you choose a coach or a therapist, make sure you are aligned with both the person and their methods.